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Archive for September 9th, 2009

The monster Guilala returns to Earth during the G8 Summit which leads to a big crisis amongst the G8 leaders. The G8 leaders take their turns in coming up with a lame brained scheme to destroy the creature. It doesn’t surprise you that none of them work until a TV reporter comes across a golden deity in a remote village called Take-Majin that could save the day.

Guilala is a kaiju that’s made it’s one and only appearance in the 1960’s flick The X From Outer Space which flopped big time in Japan. This comedy sees it’s return. This movie is fairly amusing but some of the jokes fall flat on it’s arse. It’s embarassing rather than funny seeing how they lampoon the G8 leaders. Typical stereotype for example the French Sarkozy guy bedding his interpreter. It’s the type of film you’ll roll your eyes rather than laughing out loud. That’s how bad it is but there are one or two humourous moments. I liked how they made fun of the delicate situation in Asia right now – North Korean leader Kim Jong Il makes a surprise appearance trying to sabotage the summit by disguising himself as former Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi! I would have liked to see more destruction by Guilala but even that is kept to a minimum. This could have been a far better comedy but it’s let down by the script and bad performances by the cast. I thought it would be better seeing as I enjoyed watching the 2 previous movies the director made – The Calamari Wrestler and Executive Koala. To be perfectly honest I wouldn’t waste time watching this drivel.

Sadako’s Rating: 1.5 out of 5

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Set in 1930’s Manchuria, 3 men are all set on a collision course with each other when The Weird steals a treasure map from an official on a train. The Bad is paid to get it back for his boss whilst The Good is a bounty hunter who gets caught up in the mix and tracks both of them down. Who is going to come out on top at the end of the day?

A funny Korean take on the spaghetti western genre with it’s inspiration coming from Sergio Leone’s classic The Good The Bad & The Ugly. It maintains a nice balance of comedy and violent action with the 3 main leads doing a great job especially Song Kang-ho as Yoon Tae-goo (The Weird). He’s the movie’s scene stealer. The sets, clothes, soundtrack and the cinematography are all fantastic. The only complaint I have is the threadbare plot but otherwise this is great stuff. One of the best Korean movies to come out in 2008 for it’s sheer entertainment value. Miss it miss out!

Sadako’s Rating: 4 out of 5

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Frontieres (2007)

I did mention that I’d be adding some French movies in this blog and this is the first of them:

Amidst fierce rioting in Paris, 4 young thieves (3 males and a female) who have tried to stage a robbery which has gone awry decide to flee the capital by splitting up in two cars and head to Holland via the French backroads. They decide to meet up at a small hostel deep in the French countryside run by a family. The first 2 men to arrive at the hostel get laid by the 2 sexy women running the reception area. After they’ve had their fun, one of the cocky young men insults one sister. Her brother comes along and all hell breaks loose. Both men decide to run for their lives and try and escape through a tight claustrophobic cavern until one of them is clobbered over the head by an axe when the cavern opens up inside the hostel kitchen. The other man fearful for his life backtracks in the cavern and goes and hides somewhere.

Meanwhile unaware of the troubles that have befallen their friends, the other two arrive at the place. They ask for their friends and one of the receptionist girls will show them where they’re staying on the estate. Curiosity takes over for the male when he starts snooping around the outbuildings and discovers one of his friends half-dead and dangling upside down like a butchered animal. It’s then a battle for survival as they have to escape from the hell they’ve found. However they’re captured and the male subjected to one of the movie’s nastiest moments before being chained and thrown into the family’s pigs pen. What they thought would be a nice place to stay on their way to Holland has turned into their worst nightmare. Who, if anybody will survive?

If there’s any nation that makes decent horror movies these days it’s got to be the French. Frontieres is yet another brilliant example of a shocking and frightening movie to come out of the country. It’s a terrifiying movie with a great storyline and solid performances from the cast especially from the heroine Karina Testa. I really enjoyed it. It’s inspired partly by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in that you have a family of cannibal nutcases run by an elderly ex-Nazi patriach who kills any person staying at their hostel and then they cook and eat the meat! It has some really extreme moments which will make some of you wince. Overall this is one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in the past year – it’s unsettling, disturbing and edge of your seat stuff. Gorehounds – miss this at your peril!

Sadako’s Rating: 4.5 out of 5

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Geisha Assassin (2008)

The movie begins with our young geisha heroine Kotono trying to track down her father’s murderer – a samurai. When she finds him he claims not to remember who her father is and takes off leaving behind his lackeys to finish her off. But Kotono isn’t an ordinary geisha. She’s skilled in sword-fighting and martial arts. She dispatches the samurai’s cronies in spectacular style and goes after him but there are other opponents blocking her way. She’ll have to defeat each and every one of them if she’s to take on her father’s murderer.

Throw the plot and character development out of the window as you don’t really have one with this b-movie but if it’s action you want you’ll have that in bucket loads. The action is relentless. The sword-play and fights are really entertaining with some ridiculously over the top wire-fu moments. In fact you’re never more than 5 mins away from a skirmish. I liked the actress Minami Tsukui. She was pretty cool in the role of Kotono. The alternative title for this movie is Geisha vs Ninjas which is very confusing as the ninjas disappear after the first 20 mins as our heroine takes on other more interesting opponents on her way to meeting the final ‘big boss’. It does start to lose some steam after the hour mark though. Disengage your brain and just enjoy this popcorn movie. It’s great fun.

Sadako’s Rating: 3 out of 5

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