Aces Go Places 4:You Only Die Twice (1986)

The Hong Kong cops Baldy & King Kong are back in the 4th installment of the Aces Go Places franchise. In this movie, Baldy, his son and King Kong go to New Zealand on the trail of a gang that’s kidnapped Baldy’s wife. They’ll release her if Baldy can bring an energy prism that when it’s put into a special machine can transform an average man into a superhuman beast with the strength of 10 oxes!

Absolutely awesome HK movie directed by Ringo Lam. Incredible stunts, cool fights and great comedy make this such a wonderful movie to watch. The action packed opening sequence featuring a speedboat helicopter chase gives you a taste of what’s to come. The pacing is fast and it moves from one set piece to the next. Ronald Lacey more or less reprises his role as the baddie from Raiders Of The Lost Ark – complete with his long black trenchcoat and hat. They even poke fun at one sequence from Raiders near the end. Karl Maka is so funny as Baldy and with his young son make a good comedy duo. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie with it’s perfect blend of action and comedy. I’ve only seen the first Aces Go Places movie but this one was so better than it. For those that love old school HK movies you cannot miss this one.

Sadako’s Rating: 4.5 out of 5

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Splatter:Naked Blood (1995)

A 17 year old teenage genius Eiji has created a medical drug that can turn pain into pleasure. Sabotaging his scientist mother’s experiment at her lab, the mixture is added to a vaccine which is injected into 3 female test subjects. Eiji then follows the 3 women with his camera, filming the things that happen when the drug takes effect on them.

One of the most bizarre and weirdest Japanese shock horror movies I’ve seen. I’ll give you some examples of the strange things that go on in this movie: a woman starts mutilating herself by deep frying her hand and cutting various parts of her body to eat! Another pierces herself with anything she can get hold off in order to get turned on and the last one has a strange fixation with a cactus!! It starts out very slow this movie but once it gets going it turns gross and disturbing. The storyline is ridiculous and totally absurd. The acting to be fair is pretty crap. Be warned that the images on show is really sick! If think this is an all out gorefest then you’ll be seriously disappointed because you won’t find it here. Curious Asian horror fans might want to check it out but otherwise don’t bother.

Sadako’s Rating: 2 stars out of 5

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Sodom The Killer (2004)

In the 18th century, Lord Sodom is about to get married when his bride to be violently drops dead in front of him. Thinking that his 2 female maids are to blame he chucks them down a well and leaves them to die covered in snow but not before they curse him. Then he finds out it was an old woman with a pin cushion that was to blame! Sodom goes mad and blind and wipes out everyone in his castle. Flash forward to the 21st century and the descendant of Lord Sodom embarks on a murdering spree which started off when as a 10 year old when he kicked a razor sharp can into the head of his friend killing him. Hot on his tail as an adult is a female cop who wants to bring him to justice.

A very strange Japanese comedy and a not very good one at that. It just didn’t make any sense to me this plot. The movie gave me a couple of chuckles such as the recurring joke that whenever somebody asks Sodom for payment for a meal at a restaurant he slaughters everybody there. The fact is Sodom The Killer is only mildly amusing at best and does get a bit boring. A good 20 mins could have been cut easily. I don’t recommend it at all.

Sadako’s Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5

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Ricky Oh – The Story Of Ricky (1991)

21 year old Ricky built like a brick shithouse and born with superhuman strength is sent to a maximum security jail for killing a man who contributed to his girlfriend throwing herself off a building. Once inside Ricky isn’t content to put his head down and ignore the brutality that goes on, Ricky wants to set right the injustice that’s taking place. He doesn’t conform to the rules which brings him on a collision course with the guards, the sadistic wardens and the 4 big bosses of the prison wings who all want Ricky to die. But he doesn’t die all that easily.

One of the funniest ultra violent camp HK horror movies I’ve seen and so OTT. There’s no point in me telling you how crazy this movie is – you’re just gonna have to watch it yourself. It’s just nuts. Heads exploding, a fist through a stomach, limbs being sliced off and some other gory set pieces are all part of the parcel of watching this classic cult movie. Hell, even one fight has Ricky being choked by his opponent’s intestines!!! It’s hard to tell if this is being played straight or is it some kind of sick comedy. Nonetheless I had a lot of fun seeing this and you will too. It’s not to be taken seriously at all and I’ve never seen anything quite so manic with a staggering amount of violence before. Don’t miss it.

Sadako’s Rating: 4 stars out of 5

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The Last Princess (2008)

Set in the time of the samurai, Arashi frontman Jun Matsumoto is Takezo, a miner who doesn’t really care for the samurai that protect him or the royal families of Japan. Along with his sidekick, they escape from their place of work when poisonous gas ignite blowing the mine up. On their travels they come across a wad of gold bars in a river hidden in pieces of wood. Their joy at discovering this bounty is shortlived when a princess of a defeated kingdom disguised as a man along with her faithful protector turn up. The Princess and her guardian are trying to make their way across enemy territory to a safer location with the gold but the only thing on Takezo and his friend’s mind is sneaking away with it. That all changes however when Takezo finds out about the hidden identity of the princess and starts to fall for her. Constantly hunted by a rival samurai clan who are intent on kidnapping the princess so that she can marry and produce an heir to their throne, will Takezo do the right thing and help her out?

This is the big budget remake of Akira Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress. Having never seen the original I can’t say if it superior or inferior to it. Even by watching this remake you can see how George Lucas was inspired by the story to create Star Wars. The cast is fantastic – one of my favorite J-dorama actresses Masami Nagasawa is the princess with another great actor Abe Hiroshi as her guardian. Jun Matsumoto is dependable as ever playing Takezo. I liked this movie – the storyline is interesting, plenty of action and the set pieces are fairly exciting. Perhaps by viewing Kurosawa’s movie I’ll change my opinion on this but until then if you’re into a blockbuster movie set in feudal Japan this one should keep you happy.

Sadako’s Rating: 3.5 out of 5

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Ghost System (2002)

Misaki’s friend Mai has disappeared all of a sudden. Her boyfriend Wataru and Misaki receive a mysterious photo message from Mai’s mobile phone in the middle of some woods so they both trudge off to find the location. When they do manage to find the place, the picture they received has changed with a figure of a young woman in white appearing. Coming across a ruined building in the woods, they both enter inside. Wataru goes off on his own leaving Misaki behind. When he doesn’t return, Misaki encounters a woman scientist who has developed a programme with a super PC called the ‘Ghost System’. This programme communicates with dead people. Initially sceptical, Misaki changes her mind when her friend Mai appears before her with a hateful look about her. After finding out how she died, Misaki is warned by Mai that she won’t leave the woods alive. Can Misaki escape from this nightmare?

It started out quite well but it went downhill very fast. I got bored quickly with it but watched it right to the end in case something good might happen. It didn’t! A shame as the storyline sounded interesting. There was a lot of faults with this movie – poor acting, confusing story, it wasn’t even scary and the ending made little sense. If the makers of this movie had actually thought things over properly I’m sure it could have been a good one to watch but as it is, Ghost System is a big mess. Don’t bother with it.

Sadako’s Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5

I can’t find a trailer for this movie unfortunately.

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Love Exposure (2008)

Having grown up in a Catholic family, Yu has always been a goody two-shoes kid. After his mother dies, his priest father is seduced by a woman who breaks his heart, causing him to torment Yu by forcing him to confess his sins on a daily basis even when he doesn’t have any to confess! To appease his increasingly demanding father, Yu is determined to become a true sinner, eventually training to become an expert at sneak panty-shot photography and rising to become The King Of Perverts.

One day while hanging out with his friends but dressed like Sasori (the legendary character played by Meiko Kaji) as punishment for being on the losing end of a bet — Yu meets a beautiful girl named Yoko. Their first meeting is a glorious one, beginning with an all-out street brawl and ending with a kiss. There are only two problems: she thinks he’s a woman and worse is to come when the girl of his dreams could become his sister when her ‘mother’ wants to marry his father. But that’s only the beginning when a cult called The Zero Church hatches a master plan to convert a family of Catholics to their faith with one of their promoters – the devious and manipulative Aya Koike targeting Yu and his family.

One of the greatest movies I’ve ever seen and director Sion Sono is a genius. This 4 hour epic has got everything thrown into it including the kitchen sink. Comedy, teenage angst, drama, action, love and more. The actors were magnificent especially Takahiro Nishijima as the lead Yu Honda. I was shocked but amazed to see how far Hikari Mitsushima as Yoko has come from her innocent days in the J-pop idol group Folder5. Not so innocent anymore!!! And as for Sakura Ando as the Cult Of Zero promoter Aya Koike. So stunning yet so devious. I loved her character. Some might think they’ll struggle to watch a 4 hour movie in one go but believe me the hours went by so quickly as you’ll just be so enthralled by the story as it unfolds. This is a movie that should not be missed!

Sadako’s Rating: 5 stars out of 5

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Haeundae (2009)

Haeundae is a beach resort in the Korean city of Busan. When similar activity to that in the Indian Ocean which triggered the massive tsunami in 2004 happens in the Sea Of Japan, nobody believes geologist Kim Hwi. His superiors tell him that nothing will happen and Korea is safe. Soon afterwards however, a mega tsunami is formed and races across the ocean towards Korea and Haeundae at 500 miles per hour. There’s no time to evacuate the city with only 10 mins until the wave strikes. Who will survive the devastating tsunami in Haeundae?

This, the first ever Korean disaster movie starts out real slow, introducing us to all the characters going through their various problems in the first 75 mins which involves a lot of shouting, screaming and crying with a little bit of light relief peppered throughout. It just takes far too long for the tsunami to strike the rich Buson beach resort of Haeundae that many of you may have fallen asleep. When the inevitable happens, that’s when the movie really kicked in for me. The disaster sequences and aftermath are pretty well done and very exciting even though some of the CGI looks a bit dodgy. The human drama aspect after the tsunami is also very well done and not too overdramatic. There’s another twist to the tale near the end which I didn’t expect to happen. Overall I liked it but it’s a shame the first half dragged on way too long.

Sadako’s Rating: 3 out of 5

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Uniform Survigirl I (2009)

17 year old schoolgirl Sakura visits a Samurai theme park called Survival Land with her friends where they’re supposed to go up against some cosplayers dressed as samurai but things go horribly wrong when one of the cosplayers gets infected after finding a strange flower in the theme park’s grounds and cutting it with his sword. Some black liquid sprays him in the face and the next thing we know he’s infecting the rest of his colleagues as they turn into zombies. Soon the game turns deadly as the undead cosplayers start attacking the girls with real weapons. They need to find a way to escape from the place and fast…..

I was really disappointed with this zombie movie. I thought that the combination of cute Japanese schoolgirls, a samurai theme park and zombies would be great. How wrong I was! Poor acting, shitty storyline and the special effects was crap. There’s hardly any blood and guts and what little there is isn’t very good. Some of the sequences made me shake my head: for example one of the girls is slit across the throat by a knife and there’s a spray of blood against a building but when you look at the wound itself there’s only a tiny scratch. Hardly enough for the deluge of blood that appeared on screen. Another laughable example is near the climax as another girl has a chainsaw to protect her from a zombie. We can hear the noise of a chainsaw running but when you look at it in the girls’s hands it’s quite clearly switched off. Just little things like that made this movie so bad. Sure, the cast are kawaii but if you can’t act then that’s not going to save a movie. I’ll probably watch the sequel just to see if there’s any improvement. Don’t bother with this unless you’re desperate.

Sadako’s Rating: 1.5 out of 5

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252:Signal Of Life (2009)

A freak hailstorm shower is the prelude to a massive tsunami which hits the Shinagawa area of Tokyo. People rush into the subway stations but there’s no escape from the devastating giant wave. Many people are killed but the survivors which include a father and his blind young daughter who are now trapped underground band together and wait for the rescuers to get to them. But there’s a problem – a large typhoon is heading for Tokyo!!

252 is the signal used by rescue workers to say that there are people alive under rubble. This movie is a tad over dramatic and sentimental for me. It started out so good but after the tsunami it got rather boring full of the cliched close calls you expect in disaster movies. The disaster scenes are OK (rather short scenes) but I expected them to be a bit better. Where does all the water go after the tsunami hits? It just disappears! Saying that the sets are magnificent showing great devastation to the area affected by the giant wave. As for the cast they were fine but the little girl that plays the blind girl Shiori was just so adorable. It’s an interesting movie to watch but don’t expect too much from it. I think this was a missed opportunity to create something spectacular and it dragged on for way too long.

Sadako’s Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

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